Avery's Birthday Party

November 8th was a Friday. Turns out that Hannah, Hailey and Hayden happened to be back with their mom for the weekend. Audrey and I rented some movies and enjoyed the end of a work week by relaxing. We spent the evening talking about Audrey's ability to continue working full-time until Avery's arrival. She was getting so tired and we were debating when she wanted to start taking it easy to save energy for the upcoming labor & delivery. Audrey had been having signs that the time was near.

So, we tried to get some sleep around 10:00PM. We were right back up and awake (not sure Audrey ever really slept) at Midnight with her first contraction. They kept coming. They started from her back and worked their way around front. We knew from our training that this was just the beginning and it could still be a long journey. So we made sure that Audrey was relaxed and well nourished. She decided that a bath would be nice so we watched Hulu episodes of The Colbert Report and The John Stewart Show while she soaked. Contractions were about ten minutes apart and lasted about 30 to 45 seconds. We called the Valley Women for Women midwife on-call and spoke with Diane. She approved of our laboring at home while things progressed.

The contractions were significant enough that Audrey couldn't go back to sleep. In fact she didn't want to do anything other than sit on the couch, listen to classical music and try and drink water. She had no interest in massage or eating. She was already having to concentrate and control her breathing. The contractions started to intensify and get closer together over the next few hours. Around 5:00AM the contractions started to come every 4.5 to 5 minutes and they were intense enough that Audrey wouldn't talk through them any longer. I figured I better be prepared so I loaded the car with our bags. After the next contraction, Audrey looked at me and said "I think it's time to go." She asked me what I thought and I said "well we want to make sure that we don't go and get sent home." The next contraction made Audrey cry. Audrey said, "I want to go." She didn't ask me what I thought :) We called Diane and let her know our status and that we were heading to the hospital. She said she'd meet us there. The next contraction made Audrey throw up. I grabbed a bucket and threw some garbage bags on the car seat. Audrey's bag of waters still had not broken. I helped get her situated and off we went. Driving safely while your wife is laboring is very hard, but we made the 15 minute drive safely.

We arrived at the Mercy Gilbert Medical Center ER to check-in. We still weren't sure that this was the real thing and so we didn't take our bags in that we had so carefully packed with all kinds of helpful items for labor. This was all new to both of us as Avery's sisters were all scheduled inductions.  We did remember our necessary paperwork and had pre-registered with the hospital so checking in was a breeze. That helped because Audrey was in distress. Sitting through contractions was no longer tolerable. She stood through a few while I did the check-in. Avery wasn't due until the 16th and the administrative staff and nurses in the ER gave us some skeptical looks and comments because Audrey was only 39 weeks pregnant with her first pregnancy. It sort of fueled our thoughts that we had come to the hospital too soon and if that was the case then the pain Audrey was feeling would only increase to a point that would prohibit a natural delivery...our goal. Rookie doubts despite all our training and education.

Once we got up to triage we found that we were the only laboring couple there. It was a slower period apparently and we loved the quiet. Pam was our triage nurse. Turns out she worked with my mom, Susan, when my mom worked in the nursery a few years ago before she passed away. Hearing her talk about mom gave us a good feeling that continued throughout our stay. Pam called Diane and let her know we had arrived. It was decided that since Diane was minutes away that we'd wait to have Audrey checked for the first time by Diane. Diane arrived and was instantly a warm friendly calming presence with Audrey. They had developed a good relationship, as we did with all of the Valley Women for Women midwives, working through a difficult first trimester and attending regular family circle appointments. She checked Audrey and...99% effaced and 6 cm dilated! We were not going home. November 9th would be Avery's birthday. It was not quite 8:00AM.

Audrey got her first full dose of penicillin for Group B Strep and then got wheeled over to a delivery suite. Since we had worked a "birth wishes" (aka - plan) with our midwives it was clear that Audrey wanted to use a number of tools for labor. She first selected a pool. Since she progressed so far before getting to the hospital her wish was granted. She labored in the warm waters and the relaxation helped things progress. It was about 2 hours along when she stopped wanting to talk, answer my questions or even be touched by me. She swatted me away like a gnat :) It was in the pool that she first felt the sensation to push. Time to get out.

Things happened fast from this point on. Transition was happening. Audrey began vomiting again and by the time she laid down in the bed the sensation to push was uncontrollable. Diane was great and just told Audrey to listen to her body and reminded Audrey that her body would let her know what to do. She reminded the hospital staff that Audrey didn't want her water broken. She also told Audrey, if it felt comfortable, to push through the next few contractions. She did. It did. Boom! Her water broke. She rotated to her side and the pushing became more productive. Just when Audrey first said, "I can't do this," Diane showed me Avery's head. She was on her way out. Audrey was so close. We all told Audrey, "actually you are doing this and it's almost over." Diane massaged Audrey and knew that Audrey didn't want an episiotomy. Avery crowned and come out with her hand on the side of her face, just like we had seen her in utero so many times. Avery's hand and a bit of umbilical cord caused Audrey to tear a little bit when Avery came out, but she came out safely. Cord still attached, Diane lifted Avery up on Audrey's chest. Cries of joy and disbelief followed. She had done it. 45 minutes had passed. It was 11:36AM, not quite 12 hours from Audrey's first contraction. Audrey never once asked for pain medicine. She did it!

I am so proud, impressed and thankful to God! I continue to see my beautiful wife set goals and achieve them through some very difficult and challenging circumstances. She's a true inspiration. I am a lucky man.

Diane was amazing, genuinely kind, and so very supportive. She continues to be that same way in aftercare. We thank her and Valley Women for Women for their great care, skill and professionalism.

The Bradley Method training we received from Mary was so important to us and really helped our partnership and teamwork in labor. I felt like I was a prepared coach and we were able to make unified informed decisions all through the process, even when mom was in tremendous pain. Thank you, Mary!

Avery and mom are doing well. We are home now. Avery has been given a clean bill of health from our pediatrician. Mom and Avery are bonding and learning to work together in breastfeeding.

We appreciate all of your love and prayers. Please keep them coming. They've gotten us this far along in this amazing adventure and they'll get us through to the joys and help us overcome the challenges ahead. God is good! God bless!

Nursery

Avery Jane's nursery is complete! It's been so much fun to put this together with Tony and some help from H3.

It's so much better in person, but here are some pics until you can see it for yourself:)

Baby Angel

Today is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day...and the day to tell the story of our Baby Angel.

When we first found out we were pregnant, we were not far along.  We had seen a fertility doctor to help us get pregnant, so they were monitoring us closely. Right at two weeks my blood test came back positive.  A few days later, they took more blood work to determine if my levels were increasing...and were they ever!  The nurse told us that these numbers are much higher than normal and at our ultra during week 4 we would be able to determine why.

We were eager for our ultrasound (okay...we couldn't to wait!!) the doctor began the internal ultrasound and we were able watch on the screen as Baby A...and Baby B were identified.  We were having twins.

Shocked...elated...and praising God for the gift of two little miracles.

We began dreaming about building our family with two new babies and wondering about their lives.  I started reading up on twin pregnancy and birth.  We told our close family who had been walking with us in our almost 3 years of trying to get pregnant.  We were all celebrating and growing instantly in our love for them.

Almost right away, I began having some unnerving symptoms.  I was spotting and my concern grew.  We went into the doctor unexpectedly one day and they did another internal ultrasound to determine the problem.  They found a small Subchorionic  Hemorrhage(SCH) near Baby A.  They said there is nothing to be concerned about...SCH's are common and usually resolve themselves.  We were so relieved!  The doctor asked 'do you want to hear their heartbeats?' And we heard both of their heartbeats for the first time...incredible and strong.

We took a trip to Hobby Lobby the following Saturday and had to leave suddenly when my symptoms came back intensely.  I called the on-call doctor and they said to go to the Emergency Room as this was considered a threatened miscarriage.  We went to the ER and they conducted another ultrasound...the SCH had grown but both babies heartbeats were there and they were strong.

Over the next couple weeks the symptoms remained.  I honestly hated these symptoms...  I had the hardest time finding good solid information on SCH.  The most I could conclude was less than 1% of pregnancies have them and that every doctor has a different opinion on how to treat them.  Anywhere from no worries don't do a thing to strict bed rest.

We had gotten to a good place again where we stopped worrying about the pesky symptoms and started just reminding ourselves that it would be okay.  We had heard their heartbeats 3 times and they were growing strong.

April 4, at about 8 weeks, we went in for a routine ultrasound for someone with SCH and we we're looking forward to new pictures of our babies.  Baby B was first...heartbeat strong and healthy.  Baby A was next...the ultrasound tech clicked to record the heartbeat...nothing.  Silence. 'No heartbeat?' I asked with confusion.  'No...I'm so sorry' she said.  All I could do was repeat 'Oh my God...Oh my
God' over and over again.

I can't really explain the kind of heartache I felt...and still feel.  The grief remains and probably always will.  No matter how early on in pregananyc, we lost a baby...a baby with a heartbeat...a miracle...a gift from God.

They say I have lost the innocence of a first time pregnancy and it's true.  We have woven in and out of a roller coaster of worry and excitement throughout this whole pregnancy.  Thankful for a sweet baby girl who is almost here with us while in the next breath aching for the story of a baby gone to soon.

Today I'm joining with the millions of other women, 1 in every 4, who have or will experience a pregnancy loss and sharing my story.

For Baby Angel...we thank God for the moments we heard your precious little heartbeat.  We know that you are with the Angels now and you watch over your sister as she grows.  May our hearts love Hannah, Hailey, Hayden, and your sister Avery that much deeper in honor and remembrance of you.

Avery's Heartbeat - 32 Weeks

32 Weeks!

Guess what day it iiiiis? Guess what daaaay it iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis? That's right...we made it to

Weeks!!!

Up early today, on a Saturday. Avery started celebrating 32 weeks of pregnancy with a belly dance at 4:30AM :)

God is so good! 32 weeks means that Avery can now be born at our chosen hospital...

...because she won't require a NICU from arriving too early.

Mom is taking good care of Avery and we are continuing to prepare through home nesting and plenty of classes and appointments. 8 weeks to go!

3D Avery :)

It's not just any ordinary Saturday when technology allows you a three dimensional look at your baby! That's the case today, August 31st. It's Avery/Audrey's 29th week and what better way to celebrate than to spend some time with Avery.

Audrey's been drinking a gallon of water a day and it paid off today. The fluid was sufficient for a good look at our little lady.

Look at me! I'm beautiful!!

We found out that she is head down and apparently loves to snuggle with mommy's bladder (warmth). She is still shy and did her best to not give us a good look at her.

Look at my chubby cheeks :-)

She still keeps her hands over her face and she was even chewing on her toes for a bit. It was amazing to see Avery's eyes open as we talked to her. Seeing her look around and interact with us was amazing.

I have long leg bones...it's likely I'll be tall!!

We will let Avery have the last word for this post...

Until you see me with your own eyes...PEACE!

Belly Pics

So here they are...the long awaited belly pics.  Crazy to see how much she and I have grown.  Happy 29 weeks baby Avery! :)

Starting A Natural Plan

Thursday, 18 July 2013, we had the privilege of meeting this awesome couple.

That's Krystyna & Bruss Bowman. They have 4 children. They came and spoke at our OB Family Circle about natural child birth. They introduced us to The Bradley Method.

They were on our level. They shared a lot of information but didn't push or hard sell. They ultimately wanted to convey a sense of empowerment to the couples in attendance to own their labor, delivery and experiences beyond birth by having a plan, being informed and being strong together. Sounds like us, doesn't it? :)

Truth is, Audrey's been really interested in natural child birth all along. We both have a liking for wholesome organic foods and ways of living when reasonable and possible. This was our first real introduction to what a natural child birth experience would be all about. We learned about pain and techniques to address that. That's pretty important because pain is not exactly a friend of Audrey's. We learned about my role as a supportive coach and advocate. I think I'm up for the challenge. We learned about medical interventions and complications. Appears that one intervention can lead to another pretty easy. Also nice to know that having a plan is good but being flexible and adaptable for the unknown is equally good. At points it sounded almost like our journey to get pregnant. Ha!

Krystyna & Bruss shared some of their favorite literature as well. Two of which we'll probably end up buying and reading. 

The Hartman book is an easy read that explains in great detail what we were introduced to during the presentation. The Goer book is a very in depth look at all of the possible experiences that a pregnant woman and newborn infant can experience during labor, delivery and after. 

So, we're all in. We will be reading, attending some classes and planning. It's not the plan, it's the planning that matters. Stronger couple through the process. We'll be expecting the unexpected while better prepared. 

The Expansion Project

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

This post was supposed to be periodic updates of Audrey's growing belly. Progress has halted due to ongoing negotiations :-) 

House Full Of Little Mamas

I am a very blessed man to be a father to daughters. It's tender moments like tonight and the everyday enthusiasm of Hannah, Hailey and Hayden for Audrey's pregnancy with Avery Jane that remind me to thank God for the love of family.

Hannah drew the picture. That's the sign language gesture for "I love you." Hayden and Hailey gave us the monkey "lovie" gift. The girl's cousin Carter gave that to Hayden. She loves it and slept with it every night. Gifts from the heart...something valued passed on to someone loved.

20 Week Ultrasound

After seeing Baby Avery almost every two weeks from week 6-14, waiting 6 weeks for our 20 week ultrasound felt like forever.  What amazing changes and developments take place in just these 6 weeks!  We knew this was a big appointment where we would not only find out gender, but they would check up on all of her major organs to make sure she is developing well.

Here's what we learned...

• Baby Cox is a girl:)
• She has all four chambers of the heart and it's working properly.  Her heartbeat was 147.
• She has two kidneys that are working properly as we could see the fluid being processed in both of them
• She is swallowing amniotic fluid the way she is supposed to because we saw her stomach and her bladder(which was full).
• We saw her femur and the ultrasound tech measured it
• We saw her brain and cerebellum
• She has two legs and two arms
• We saw her little nose and her lips which are forming well
• We had an amazing view of her spine

The consensus?  She is developing well and everything looked great at this ultrasound...thanks be to God.

Here are a couple pictures from this visit:

Baby Avery's spine - amazing picture!

Baby Avery's beautiful face(and yes, that is her eyeball!)

Cute little baby foot

And Avery's little arm:)

Is Baby Cox A Boy Or A Girl?

We went to our 17 week appointment expecting to have an ultrasound and find out if baby Cox is a boy or girl, but when we arrived, no ultrasound had been ordered and we were told we had to wait 3 more weeks.  "3 more weeks?" Hailey said when we gave her the update.  It was a long wait for us but even longer for big sisters...

Finally we got our answer at this week's ultrasound...watch the video to find out if baby Cox is a boy or girl!

When Clinical Becomes Care & Concern

It doesn't need much explanation knowing the two of us, but it is worth noting that after our very rough first trimester seeing a traditional OB doctor is not for us! Fortunately the clinic we go to, Valley Women For Women, has a Midwifery Service. Not having any experience with a midwife we were pleasantly surprised to find another area of the clinic with rooms decorated and lit in a way that brings about peaceful thoughts and happiness. We were even more surprised to meet the first midwife, Diane, who for the first time showed compassion and care for all that we'd been through. She gave Audrey and baby blessing a strong vote of confidence and affirmation that it was time to move on from the bed rest. The problems resolved themselves. We finally found what we were always looking for in prenatal care. 

Since that first appointment we've met two other midwives and will meet them all before it's time for labor/delivery. We joined a family circle led by the midwives. We meet monthly with other expecting couples who are due around the same time we are. We learn together and have opportunities to bond with others in a group setting. We've only gone to our first session but already learned a lot...including how to "try" and find baby blessings heartbeat on our own. Little wiggle worm wouldn't allow for it the first time and the staff had to find it for us. I'll get better as Audrey's belly gets bigger they say. Ha! 

We're happy and at peace with the midwife's approach to Audrey's care and look forward to learning more and being with one of the midwives when baby blessing is born.

16 Weeks!

Baby Cox sucking it's thumb at 13 weeks and 3 days:)

First post and officially 16 weeks along!  

How big is baby? Apparently baby is approximately the size of an avocado!(so says my Babycenter iPhone app)

It's helpful to know the size of the baby as the girls are always curious to know how big baby is getting.  Fruits and vegetables seem to provide a easy visual:)

Over the next few weeks baby will double in size to about 10 inches at week 20!

Complications and Bed-rest: For those who didn't know, at week 8 I was put on bed rest.  In addition to some other complications, I had a large subchorionic hemorrhage(SCH).  No known cause to these bleeds except for perhaps implantation but apparently it's 'common' in the first trimester.  About 1% of women get them and they typically resolve themselves by the end of the first trimester.  There was little to no pain physically associated with this, but the symptoms were pretty scary. Ultimately, there are risks to baby with SCH, so bed-rest was necessary to speed up healing and keep baby safe.   

I spent a good 5 weeks on the couch and in bed and on leave from work.  Some people might say...sitting around and relaxing for 5 weeks sounds wonderful.  It might be for some, but it made me just plain stir crazy.  I tried to find projects to keep me busy such as helping to coordinate volunteers for a Feed My Starving Children event, working on my faith resource submissions for Vibrant Faith @ Home(an online ministry website I write for), helping my sister-in-law with her cake business blog, and other little projects.  I read, drew, watched a couple movies, chatted with family and friends on the phone(Vanessa called on her drive home work many days - love you sis!) and tried to make the days pass by as quickly as possible.

We have amazing family and friends who provided visits, meals, care packages, and prayers from near and far.  We were truly humbled by people's generosity and kindness...

Trina introduced me to a friend of hers who is certified in Reiki.  I had never tried it before, but I knew Trina had experienced it and really loved it and Suz(Tony's mom) had worked with Michelle for relief from ALS symptoms. It's like massage but gentler and with more focus on the energy of the body. Trina and Michelle came over on a Monday and my first Reiki experience was so powerful.  I had spent so much time worrying about baby that I had not been able to spend much time bonding with baby.  This was my first time bonding with baby and it was amazing.  It made me feel close to baby, baby's grandma Suz, and all who love us. Trina, thanks for introducing me to and for all your support:)

My husband was an absolute rockstar.  He took great care of me, our family, and this home.  I guess that's what a strong love is all about right, when times are hardest, your partnership is strongest.  So blessed by him...

Healing! At 13 weeks(and 3 days) I had returning symptoms that prompted a unscheduled trip to the OB for an ultrasound.  I was so worried something had taken a turn for the worse.  To our surprise, not only was baby healthy but my hemorrhage had completely healed!  I was officially off bed-rest and as my midwife said..."It's time to move on from this."  

Power of Prayer
I have heard this phrase before, but I feel like we have really experienced it.  We would be talking with someone and before we knew it they were sharing how a church they knew in another state had us on their prayer chain.  People we didn't know were praying for us from Arizona to Michigan, Canada to Oklahoma, and Georgia to Illinois.  I believe these prayers gave us the comfort and peace we needed to work through complications and hard times and reminded us that the healing we experienced came from the power of prayer through Jesus.  Praise and Glory to Him...Amen.

My Clothes Don't Fit!  Last week I started back to work which meant i needed to go shopping!  Many of my work clothes did not fit anymore so I had my first official trip for maternity clothes.  Thanks to some help via text from my sis and husband, I found some clothes to get me started.

It was great to get back to work.  I had incredible support from my co-workers and being able to come back and contribute to the team again felt great.

One of my co-workers told me yesterday that I 'popped'!  I had heard there is a time in pregnancy when your belly just seems to pop out and I am pretty sure week 15 was it for me!  

H3 and Baby Blessing
We told the girls at about 11 weeks.  I had ordered silver frames that read Me and My Big Sister and we put our recent ultrasound picture in the frames.  We gave the girls the frames in gift bags and when they had opened them, none of them could really figure out what it was.  We asked Hayden to read the frame out-loud.  I said "Hayden, if that's for you, are you a big sister?" She said "Nooooo...I'm a little sister" I said "You're a big sister now too...we're having a baby."  The girls erupted with giggles and hugs of celebration. It was a very special time. We set-up the iPad and recorded the whole thing and look forward to showing baby how excited big sisters were when they found out!

The girls like to touch my baby belly and have even read to baby.  Today Hayden told the baby all about the pets and what colors they are and how Mr. Smidge puts his pug tail down when he is sad.  Baby will be so saavy when it's born from all of big sister's educational moments;)

Boy or Girl
Stay tuned...  Our next appointment is June 11 and we are excited to find out if baby is a boy or girl.  Predications?  Most people think it's a boy, I have had four dreams it's a girl(and one that it's a cat...weird!).  So we shall see!  What we want...healthy:)

Trip to Michigan
Due to all the time off I had to take for bed-rest and a better safe than sorry approach to the rest of pregnancy, we will be postponing our annual summer trip to Michigan.  Instead, we will be coming to Michigan on Christmas Day through new years as family...mom, dad, H3 and baby!  

Thanks for all of your prayers and love...