It's so much better in person, but here are some pics until you can see it for yourself:)
Saturday, October 19, 2013
Nursery
Avery Jane's nursery is complete! It's been so much fun to put this together with Tony and some help from H3.
It's so much better in person, but here are some pics until you can see it for yourself:)
It's so much better in person, but here are some pics until you can see it for yourself:)
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Baby Angel
Today is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day...and the day to tell the story of our Baby Angel.
When we first found out we were pregnant, we were not far along. We had seen a fertility doctor to help us get pregnant, so they were monitoring us closely. Right at two weeks my blood test came back positive. A few days later, they took more blood work to determine if my levels were increasing...and were they ever! The nurse told us that these numbers are much higher than normal and at our ultra during week 4 we would be able to determine why.
We were eager for our ultrasound (okay...we couldn't to wait!!) the doctor began the internal ultrasound and we were able watch on the screen as Baby A...and Baby B were identified. We were having twins.
Shocked...elated...and praising God for the gift of two little miracles.
We began dreaming about building our family with two new babies and wondering about their lives. I started reading up on twin pregnancy and birth. We told our close family who had been walking with us in our almost 3 years of trying to get pregnant. We were all celebrating and growing instantly in our love for them.
Almost right away, I began having some unnerving symptoms. I was spotting and my concern grew. We went into the doctor unexpectedly one day and they did another internal ultrasound to determine the problem. They found a small Subchorionic Hemorrhage(SCH) near Baby A. They said there is nothing to be concerned about...SCH's are common and usually resolve themselves. We were so relieved! The doctor asked 'do you want to hear their heartbeats?' And we heard both of their heartbeats for the first time...incredible and strong.
We took a trip to Hobby Lobby the following Saturday and had to leave suddenly when my symptoms came back intensely. I called the on-call doctor and they said to go to the Emergency Room as this was considered a threatened miscarriage. We went to the ER and they conducted another ultrasound...the SCH had grown but both babies heartbeats were there and they were strong.
Over the next couple weeks the symptoms remained. I honestly hated these symptoms... I had the hardest time finding good solid information on SCH. The most I could conclude was less than 1% of pregnancies have them and that every doctor has a different opinion on how to treat them. Anywhere from no worries don't do a thing to strict bed rest.
We had gotten to a good place again where we stopped worrying about the pesky symptoms and started just reminding ourselves that it would be okay. We had heard their heartbeats 3 times and they were growing strong.
April 4, at about 8 weeks, we went in for a routine ultrasound for someone with SCH and we we're looking forward to new pictures of our babies. Baby B was first...heartbeat strong and healthy. Baby A was next...the ultrasound tech clicked to record the heartbeat...nothing. Silence. 'No heartbeat?' I asked with confusion. 'No...I'm so sorry' she said. All I could do was repeat 'Oh my God...Oh my
God' over and over again.
I can't really explain the kind of heartache I felt...and still feel. The grief remains and probably always will. No matter how early on in pregananyc, we lost a baby...a baby with a heartbeat...a miracle...a gift from God.
They say I have lost the innocence of a first time pregnancy and it's true. We have woven in and out of a roller coaster of worry and excitement throughout this whole pregnancy. Thankful for a sweet baby girl who is almost here with us while in the next breath aching for the story of a baby gone to soon.
Today I'm joining with the millions of other women, 1 in every 4, who have or will experience a pregnancy loss and sharing my story.
For Baby Angel...we thank God for the moments we heard your precious little heartbeat. We know that you are with the Angels now and you watch over your sister as she grows. May our hearts love Hannah, Hailey, Hayden, and your sister Avery that much deeper in honor and remembrance of you.
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When we first found out we were pregnant, we were not far along. We had seen a fertility doctor to help us get pregnant, so they were monitoring us closely. Right at two weeks my blood test came back positive. A few days later, they took more blood work to determine if my levels were increasing...and were they ever! The nurse told us that these numbers are much higher than normal and at our ultra during week 4 we would be able to determine why.
We were eager for our ultrasound (okay...we couldn't to wait!!) the doctor began the internal ultrasound and we were able watch on the screen as Baby A...and Baby B were identified. We were having twins.
Shocked...elated...and praising God for the gift of two little miracles.
We began dreaming about building our family with two new babies and wondering about their lives. I started reading up on twin pregnancy and birth. We told our close family who had been walking with us in our almost 3 years of trying to get pregnant. We were all celebrating and growing instantly in our love for them.
Almost right away, I began having some unnerving symptoms. I was spotting and my concern grew. We went into the doctor unexpectedly one day and they did another internal ultrasound to determine the problem. They found a small Subchorionic Hemorrhage(SCH) near Baby A. They said there is nothing to be concerned about...SCH's are common and usually resolve themselves. We were so relieved! The doctor asked 'do you want to hear their heartbeats?' And we heard both of their heartbeats for the first time...incredible and strong.
We took a trip to Hobby Lobby the following Saturday and had to leave suddenly when my symptoms came back intensely. I called the on-call doctor and they said to go to the Emergency Room as this was considered a threatened miscarriage. We went to the ER and they conducted another ultrasound...the SCH had grown but both babies heartbeats were there and they were strong.
Over the next couple weeks the symptoms remained. I honestly hated these symptoms... I had the hardest time finding good solid information on SCH. The most I could conclude was less than 1% of pregnancies have them and that every doctor has a different opinion on how to treat them. Anywhere from no worries don't do a thing to strict bed rest.
We had gotten to a good place again where we stopped worrying about the pesky symptoms and started just reminding ourselves that it would be okay. We had heard their heartbeats 3 times and they were growing strong.
April 4, at about 8 weeks, we went in for a routine ultrasound for someone with SCH and we we're looking forward to new pictures of our babies. Baby B was first...heartbeat strong and healthy. Baby A was next...the ultrasound tech clicked to record the heartbeat...nothing. Silence. 'No heartbeat?' I asked with confusion. 'No...I'm so sorry' she said. All I could do was repeat 'Oh my God...Oh my
God' over and over again.
I can't really explain the kind of heartache I felt...and still feel. The grief remains and probably always will. No matter how early on in pregananyc, we lost a baby...a baby with a heartbeat...a miracle...a gift from God.
They say I have lost the innocence of a first time pregnancy and it's true. We have woven in and out of a roller coaster of worry and excitement throughout this whole pregnancy. Thankful for a sweet baby girl who is almost here with us while in the next breath aching for the story of a baby gone to soon.
Today I'm joining with the millions of other women, 1 in every 4, who have or will experience a pregnancy loss and sharing my story.
For Baby Angel...we thank God for the moments we heard your precious little heartbeat. We know that you are with the Angels now and you watch over your sister as she grows. May our hearts love Hannah, Hailey, Hayden, and your sister Avery that much deeper in honor and remembrance of you.
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